Bitsy’s Dog Park Diary – 120729

Today I give Bitsy the last of her pills. On a Monday, a month ago, I woke up at 6 in the morning to a very quiet trailer park and a very sick dog. She wouldn’t eat; mostly she just lay still, and knowing Bitsy, I knew this to be very serious. But – what do you do? Now, I know a few people. Now I know a good vet. Then, I burst into tears and wandered around until I found a person outside, and yes he called someone and they all helped to find a good, but not cheap, vet that is available for emergencies. Smith’s if ever you are in Santa Fe.

But the thing is, I think I cried that morning for every sad thing I have ever known. I couldn’t stop. I cried for all the children I have been trying to prevent their suffering for our mistakes, and for all the whole earth that is dying to us. I had no idea how deeply I could cry, way out of proportion to one dear dog. After all, there have been many, and I do know how to cope.

Bitsy had pneumonia; when we came back home from the vet, she lay down on her dog rug that half fills all our indoor space, and I lay down beside her on the floor and fell asleep. A couple of hours later, the person who helped me came to see if I was OK. I was OK. I’m still OK. But it’s all real. The tears are for your grandchildren. Mostly. And I’ve been storing them up for about 10 years, since I looked out and saw what is happening.

Now we have settled into a routine, Bitsy and I. In the morning, she gets to eat, first thing. Then she comes back in and I have to cover her up with the blanket. When she’s ready to move and I have answered emails, we go out to the dog park for half an hour. Then we come back and Bitsy gets her two pills, followed by the PILL CHASER the Cruz-Alstons gave us for going away. When we ran out, we found some identical pill chasers in a local store and I guess we will have to continue that ritual forever. Evening routine is similar, but without the blanket. Hot.

Bitsy is fine now, and we continue to record her Dog Park Diary, that she will publish when the trip is finished. Maybe we’ll have a calendar sooner than that.

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