True Story

Out at the ranch I have his cute little travel trailer. I like to stay over sometimes, with the cat and the dog, leave the door open so the horse can stick her head inside if she wants to join the game.

One time when I was sleeping out there, quite a few years ago when southern nights were soft and sweet, I woke straight up WHAM with the certain awareness that a fire ant was trapped inside my ear. Well, actually, it took a little thinking time to figure out exactly what was happening, but that was it. A dog and a cat and a horse are not much help at a time like this, and nobody else was around.

What to do?

It’s just a little thing, what about a Q-tip?

No way. Have you ever been bit by a fire ant? Definitely we do not want to start a war even with one little fire ant. Especially when it is inside my ear.

My next impulse was to panic, but I wanted the thing out of my ear and couldn’t think of any way panicking would help. Instead I tried to think. What does this little fire ant want? How/why did she get there in the first place? What do fire ants DO?

Times like this it’s good to realize that — more than anything else — we both want the same thing. And find a way to give it to her. ASAP.

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